School

School



A place where all humans must go through. Apparently, it's supposed to grant you so much in life through the blessing of knowledge.

I am currently a student and I am having a blast learning. There are so many rules to master that by the time you're done, you're going to have to master the art of Botox or something to prevent looking like this guy:













Here are the ten simple rules of success:


Rule #1.
Don't play with scissors



Rules #2.
Don't play video games with crazy gamers




Rule #3.
Don't play with crazy gamers that have scissors




Rule #4.
Read the textbook



Rule #5.
Study hard

Rule #6.
Get tutors




Rule #7.
Avoid "all-nighters"



Rule #8.
Follow rules # 8.



Rules #9.
Rule #8 is that you NEVER come late to class!



Rules #10.
Acknowledge that if you don't sleep, you're messed up for a solid school year.



Rulez #11:
(Secret rules)
Do EVERYTHING you want to do ONLY when the teacher's back is turned:

Pretty much, you just have to go through something called a Bachelor's Degree and then you can get a pretty decent to a flippin'-awesome-bro job.

The most popular type of degree among parents for their kids to obtain has a name that only LITTLE kids like, YouTube videos make look fun, and is probably GOING to be fun if you can survive the hell it takes: SCIENCE.
Parents all want their kids to take degrees in SCIENCE. I, the awesome author of this impressively professional blog, am in a SCIENCE degree. (And yes, SCIENCE will remain in capitals)

Again, let me emphasize on how easy it looks for humans of younger ages:



SCIENCE is unlike any type of degree ever. It drives you:




SCIENCE degrees are killer loads of :



and some other killer loads of:





AAALLL combined into ONE ultimate extreme degree called SCIENCE where you NEVER employ 90% of the skills you've acquired over four years.


And that's not even the worst part.....the worst part is, if you want to become a real professional such as a doctor, lawyer, philosopher (the dude titled PhD, or the dudette titled that), or some other equivalent, you have to go through the B.S. degree. (Such a convenient name to call that, considering how you can't become an elite professional directly)  [TOTALLY not dissing other careers, just these take some God given dedication, bro]

The Bull. Spit. degree is all about
  


for FOUR WASTED YEARS- all to teach you about "How to study in first year experience or something" and "Some history about how the U.S. came to be and about slavery for nearly 4 centuries and how Americans are slowly losing money money...money money money and then ancient dead dudes and their life struggles living on"

and worst of all:

"Today, we're going to teach you about....the human BODY....how it WORKS....and SCIENCE"


The B.S. degree (I promise you that it's all I call it) is possibly a great learning experience for some where people learn and study and develop skills, but for me, I can only understand what happens in classroom such as he said this about that dude, she said this about that girl. Pretty much, tests demand something from me, but I can't do anything because of the chit chattering. If you explain to me about chromosomes and how barfing works, you can't expect anything more from me.....on tests, they're conceptual...

THIS means that what's on the test is supposed to make you think, but I'm just not about that life. Even if people present to me problems about critical thinking, my answers just never seem to help:

Friend: "Hey author of that totally amazing blog!
*Bows in utter respect for the amazing author*
I need help with this question?"

Me: "What?"

Friend: "I can't figure out how to divide a job with only THREE parts between four people evenly. The job is for three because it has three parts. How can I do this? Emphasis on the THREE parts to FOUR peeps thing, master of amazingness"

Me: "Pay them each one fourth of the money and let them handle themselves"

Friend: "SUCH A GLORIOUS ANSWER!!!!!"



"I totally couldn't have thought of that and am totally never gonna be happy with myself!!!!!!"




You see,
I intend to live a life, and a simple one. I plan on working 8 hours a day, for a company owned by a corporal fatcat, and ultimately run by the Man. (Yes, I want to work for the Man)


Nobody's ever seen the Man, but everybody knows that you can only work for him if you DON'T think. You can never produce a challenge for his businesses by noticing that you don't need to live such a rough life. If tests are going to make me think, that'll destroy my ability of NOT thinking and becoming part of the infinite workforce.





The workforce is where men are always forced into overworking and receiving less money for their work and then being yelled at when in the office building and being forced to buy a car, then a house, then get a wife, then raise kids, then teach them to escape working for the man, and go crazy about following rules, be forced to wear a suit and tie, go bald, and NEVER have fun again.

This has always been my fate. My fate, and the fate of 186 million U.S. citizens.....


Ultimately, you'll never be able to get any job or anything without a degree, so I must go through this. My life's goal is to one day work for the Man, and follow his dress code rules. School is the key....









Always remember this one fact: YOU MUST GO THROUGH SCHOOL AND FOLLOW THE SCHOOL RULES.

This one final fact is what has made America what it is today.



P.S.

Please:
Just don't mention this blog on my graduation...

Cyberbullying

I am highly against bullying. I used to be bullied way back when I was a little kid. Apparently, bullying causes a lot of harm and ill feelings for the victim.

First things first, it's important to understand bullies. It's always key to understand that a bully only bullies to find somebody else suffering with them. Somebody enjoying themselves with all of the blessings in life wouldn't go out of their way to harm somebody else. (Unless they're sadists)

Usually, bullying only happens while in person, but now, when electronic devices began to uproot social conflict and improve the ability to spread rumors and directly offend while hiding behind a screen, bullying became a more accessible thing to do.

Back in my day, even though I'm still pretty young, bullying was done the old fashion way, where you REALLY get hurt and really get punched. (Nowadays, punches harm people through words on a screen) And after a while, you start to get used to it:


CYBERBULLYING


VS






REAL BULLYING






Pretty much, you can find a cyberbully anywhere. Wherever you find a social media website, you'll find somebody sending bad messages from behind the safety of their home. The funny thing is: they're so sweet to your face and will try to cover up what happened by twisting what they meant or something.

I have yet to see the day that a cyberbully talk trash to somebody's face.

Bullies always have that posse or clique going. Unless the bully is super cocky, or bigger than you, they will feel the need to hide behind a group of friends that are willing to protect them, no matter how wrong they are.



So, how can one avoid bullying? Is it easy? Is it hard? Is it simple?

The answers are no, yes, ,and no. It's hard.

Step 1.
Understand your bully and why they are fighting you.




Step 2.
Think about if this is a situation where you'll have to stand up for yourself and defend yourself. Do you need to fight or do something to make them leave you alone? (If so, take extreme action so that they never try it again)




Step 3.
Evaluate if your bullying really affects you. Do you have to let their bullying affect you? If it's cyberbullying, turn of your laptop. You don't HAVE to read the lies or posts about you. Also, don't let their small snide remarks or the gossip they let you hear make you think they are preoccupied with you. Have a thick skin.

Step 4.
Find the right help.


Bullying greatly affected me. This was primarily because I was unable to understand why I was being bullied. If you're being bullied, it's never your fault. Remember that whatever the bully suffers, they don't want to go through it alone.


Finally, have a group of friends for yourself. You don't find a bully taking on victims 1v1. Have a clique around you all the time to avoid person-to-person conflict. If not a clique, at least a best friend. And remember that the best anti bullying friend is a pet. A big, aggressive pet.

Rebellious Kids

Many parents today have problems with rebellious children. Children who break rules. Children who defy and will not listen no matter what.

They are labeled "rebellious" for a reason.

Control issues. Usually, trouble sparks when a child or teen feels like they don't fit the rules made for them. It just doesn't fit a man to be mama's big baby, and later on, he feels like he must leave the nest. I usually stand for listening to one's parents, but sometimes must side with the child:



Seriously speaking, children will break rules when they find more enjoyment breaking the rules than following them. This means that if your child has more time playing games while they are "not allowed" than they have time to play while "allowed," you'd better expect that they are going to take what's more for them.

There are ways to deal with this.

The first step parents should take should change the child for life. If your child goes through this:



when they break your rules, I can almost guarantee that they will suddenly act accordingly to the expectations.

In most situations, it's a battle over how much time the child spends outside the house, how much time the child spends on their cell phone, and how much time they spend NOT doing everything in life that is so important.

As a teenager, I can understand the struggle a teenager finds when he wants to go play soccer while there is a calculus textbook and a pair of parents in the house.

As a teenager, I propose the solution.

If you want your child to NOT be like THIS:



Teach them earlier on who's boss.
It takes a few moves. There's the five across the face:


The drop double karate dragon kick of ultimate doom (WARNING: THIS MOVE ONLY WORKS ON DISOBEDIENT CHILDREN THAT ARE STILL POCKET-SIZED):


and then, there are written legendary ways to ensure that children don't cross the line.

There is the dragon punch of ultimate dragon death:


the ear pull of ultimate uncomfort:


and then the supreme death stare of absolute rage and fury...this move works the most effectively, as tension is mostly mentally detected:





These moves are just as effective on children of larger sizes:



and, some are also just as effective in cars:






Bottom line, conflicts and child disobedience usually arise from seemingly unfitting rules. To make the better choice, it's always best to observe the situation and who really is causing the problem. Is it that the child is overstepping boundaries and placing themselves in apparent or potential danger, is it the parent that is overprotective and is making sure that the child is cut off from certain activities due to POSSIBLE happenings, or could there be the fact that the child is just too young.

Above all, I highly urge children to obey their parents to the best they can and discuss with their parents in a nice way about how they feel, and for parents to openly accept and think about things their children propose.

Chocolate

Chocolate







This legendary word comes from the latin or german root word chocolatticus, which means something that could mean "eat this because it is the tastiest." It is the supreme form of sweetness, 5-9% of your daily intake of some good things-(which I totally just googled up to make sure it's credible), and a very nice taste.

Chocolate is my favorite food. I would consume it every day, but for totally NOT healthiness related consumption situations, I don't, because chocolate is too healthy.

I have prepared an entire argument just to boost support of the chocolate community. I won't even produce the science behind chocolate because that would wipe out the competition:







Clearly, it means something to have such a shape with geometric figures. Clearly, this is why chocolate can take the form of cake, fudge, and other cakes and fudge and syrup and many other untold forms.

Chocolate, surprisingly, contains quite some iron and zinc. Iron helps blood cells and muscles store oxygen. The iron is primarily found in unsweetened cocoa powder, and the cocoa powder could be used in plenty of different places to add the nutty and attractively bitter chocolate taste.Chocolate is grown near the equator and not near many other places.

In conclusion, chocolate is a very tasty thing and this entire blog was made for you to try it.