Monday, February 8, 2016
Saturday, January 16, 2016
Life
Life. Everybody knows that life can be really hard on you...
Life can give you ups and downs, but it primarily chooses to give you downs. Studies have been constructed to provide evidence that life is a troll.
Apparently, life can get messy. How do you handle those days when you're sad and people are just messing with you on PURPOSE? Those days when you just try to do your own thing but everybody is coming to YOU with something to ruin your day?
OR
What about days when you try to do something, but everything goes wrong?
First off, understand that it's possible that you don't get ticked off and become a depressed bum who chills out in his mom's basement for the rest of his life, reliving that ONE day when that ONE guy ticked him off.
(Don't feel bad if you're already there because there's no place like home where you get all of the cookies and brownies)
Second, understand that you can turn those messy days all the way around.
Way #1.
Watch really cute animals that will make you explode with cuteness!
Like these:
Way #2:
Give yourself a little sugar
Way #3:
Watch some people falling down and getting hurt. (Not for the faint of heart)
'
After trying all of these ways, you're sure to be all set. If not, there's always something called achievement. The concept of achievement is really difficult to grasp in a short while. It basically goes something like this:
Achievement:
/əˈCHēvmo͞os/
Root: How am I supposed to know?
Definition:
Pretty much, it's kinda like when you spend a whole lot of your time doing boring, repetitive, dumb things for a loooong while, bro. And then, you kinda like....lemme see how to word this... You just wanna look and show off the thing that you spent so much time on to show how much time you kinda wasted on what it was that you achieved I think. And then you force your mind into being happy by seeing the thing you "achieved"
Achievement can look pretty cool if it's for cool things
However, most of the time achievement is done in something boring like math, work, chemistry, math, work, or chemistry.
It's some common theory that achieving something big will help you feel happy. I shouldn't really even mention this whole "achievement" thing, but I have to because it's part of the "steps to feelings happy" thing I googled up. I'm sure it's credible, too. On top of that, life trolls always screw up big achievements, which makes achievement a dangerous factor to try, anyways.
It would be nice to be able to kill the life troll, too.
Although the best method would be laser beams, that can't happen.
So, what's a life troll's greatest weakness and what do life trolls want?
Life trolls just wanna mess you up. They carry the world's worst weapon of mass destruction, too.....lemons. Lemons are known to man to be what causes sour happenings.
LEMON EXXTREEEMMME!!!
Lemon exxtreemme is a great weapon. It basically destroys your entire mood with its sourness. Life trolls value this greatly because humans have a taste for sugar.
So, with this comes the greatest weakness of life trolls. LEMONADE!!!!
It's statistically proven that life trolls will leave you alone if you find a way to make their lemons into some nice LEMONADA! You can always trust statistics, too!
Anyways, trolls just can't stand seeing somebody turning a sour situation into a good one. They get so upset if their troll fails that they spend the next year just doing nothing but avoiding you just in case they may fail again.
So, ultimately, the key to having a troll free life is to make lemonade.
Life can give you ups and downs, but it primarily chooses to give you downs. Studies have been constructed to provide evidence that life is a troll.
Apparently, life can get messy. How do you handle those days when you're sad and people are just messing with you on PURPOSE? Those days when you just try to do your own thing but everybody is coming to YOU with something to ruin your day?
OR
What about days when you try to do something, but everything goes wrong?
First off, understand that it's possible that you don't get ticked off and become a depressed bum who chills out in his mom's basement for the rest of his life, reliving that ONE day when that ONE guy ticked him off.
(Don't feel bad if you're already there because there's no place like home where you get all of the cookies and brownies)
Second, understand that you can turn those messy days all the way around.
Way #1.
Watch really cute animals that will make you explode with cuteness!
Like these:
Way #2:
Give yourself a little sugar
Way #3:
Watch some people falling down and getting hurt. (Not for the faint of heart)
'
After trying all of these ways, you're sure to be all set. If not, there's always something called achievement. The concept of achievement is really difficult to grasp in a short while. It basically goes something like this:
Achievement:
/əˈCHēvmo͞os/
Root: How am I supposed to know?
Definition:
Pretty much, it's kinda like when you spend a whole lot of your time doing boring, repetitive, dumb things for a loooong while, bro. And then, you kinda like....lemme see how to word this... You just wanna look and show off the thing that you spent so much time on to show how much time you kinda wasted on what it was that you achieved I think. And then you force your mind into being happy by seeing the thing you "achieved"
Achievement can look pretty cool if it's for cool things
However, most of the time achievement is done in something boring like math, work, chemistry, math, work, or chemistry.
It's some common theory that achieving something big will help you feel happy. I shouldn't really even mention this whole "achievement" thing, but I have to because it's part of the "steps to feelings happy" thing I googled up. I'm sure it's credible, too. On top of that, life trolls always screw up big achievements, which makes achievement a dangerous factor to try, anyways.
It would be nice to be able to kill the life troll, too.
Although the best method would be laser beams, that can't happen.
So, what's a life troll's greatest weakness and what do life trolls want?
Life trolls just wanna mess you up. They carry the world's worst weapon of mass destruction, too.....lemons. Lemons are known to man to be what causes sour happenings.
Lemon exxtreemme is a great weapon. It basically destroys your entire mood with its sourness. Life trolls value this greatly because humans have a taste for sugar.
So, with this comes the greatest weakness of life trolls. LEMONADE!!!!
It's statistically proven that life trolls will leave you alone if you find a way to make their lemons into some nice LEMONADA! You can always trust statistics, too!
Anyways, trolls just can't stand seeing somebody turning a sour situation into a good one. They get so upset if their troll fails that they spend the next year just doing nothing but avoiding you just in case they may fail again.
So, ultimately, the key to having a troll free life is to make lemonade.
Saturday, December 12, 2015
The Next Level
What does it take to become an all star pro in life?
How do you impress people and become the most amazing person people know?
Practice makes perfect. You can just keep trying and practicing until your level of skills reach here:
Right now, you're probably like:
DANG SON
But believe it or not, somersaults are possible if you believe!!
Now, all of those amazing skills are for those willing to practice and try hard. I'm too lazy for that:
YET, I still have proven to be awesome......
I took a lie detector test about that, too:
I easily detected that the machine is lying so hard.
Anyways, what does it take to become an awesome person? How can you become the coolest kid on the block?? (Without owning the most crayons)
I've found the answer:
LEMON EXTREEEMMEE!!!!
And yes, that answer is real. It has no particular meaning because I didn't fact check lemon extreeemmee, but I'm sure that lemon extreeemmee is still a good enough argument.
Pretty much, you should take lemon extreeemmee as an example. He doesn't talk, move, express emotions, or do anything. Why? It's because lemon extreeemmee is really really relaxed. He doesn't have to care about anything, and that's what will make a person awesome.
Becoming awesome needs you to unleash your inner "I don't care" attitude.
If you don't let anything bother you, you'll find that you will:
1. Become really relaxed and happier.
2. People will want to hang out with you because you're happy and they like happiness.
3. # Replaced Item
4. You will be able to enjoy things deeply.
Number three was that you can show how awesome you are to the people around you, but it would have been unfair to leave that there. Some people are naturally not as awesome as others. (Awesome people just know how to strut their stuff better)
Sometimes, people will want to be cool by doing something illegal or plain stupid. For example:
Back in my high school days, I heard about people bragging that they smoked, did crack, and....some REALLY inappropriate stuff which needs to be censored, and I thought it wasn't cool. They did for some reason.....
After all, how can a high school teen looking like this be cool?:
In fact, cool today is on a whole new level of cool. When I was in kindergarten, being cool was how many crayons you had. I recently met a five year old kindergarten student with an iPhone 6 PLUS. (And it made my ancient Samsung thing I don't even know the model of look very bad!)
Things change really quickly, but the rules to being cool haven't ever changed. They're fundamental and based on psychological biology! You have to think about how the body's coolness it taken in by the human brain, while using physics and entomology and more. THEN, you'll get it, but I don't want to confuse you now.
Here's a very simple picture for users to understand how to be more like LEMON EXTREEEMMEE!!!!!!!!
It's all about not letting things get to you. If you don't give a crap about all of the nonsense around you, you'll find that you're totally going to be able to look cool to everybody. More importantly, you'll find that you really can just become a happier person in general.
If the coolest kid in your school comes to brag about something and tells you about his latest expensive thing:
Say: "I don't care bro." and walk away
If a reality T.V. show gives you an offer to get paid to act for them:
Say: "I don't care bro." and walk away
If the U.S. President invites you to dinner:
Say: "I don't care bro." and walk away
If you are offered to get 1 billion dollars for free:
TAKE THAT!!!
And then:
Say: "I don't care bro." and walk away (With the money in hand)
Not caring and not letting things affect you are going to make you a cooler person. Being lax and laid-back are all it takes to become a cool person:
It's easy and simple. Or you could choose to spend time actually DOING cool things!
After all, who would like to work their entire lives to do things like this to be cool?:
How do you impress people and become the most amazing person people know?
Practice makes perfect. You can just keep trying and practicing until your level of skills reach here:
Right now, you're probably like:
DANG SONBut believe it or not, somersaults are possible if you believe!!
Now, all of those amazing skills are for those willing to practice and try hard. I'm too lazy for that:
YET, I still have proven to be awesome......
I took a lie detector test about that, too:
I easily detected that the machine is lying so hard.
Anyways, what does it take to become an awesome person? How can you become the coolest kid on the block?? (Without owning the most crayons)
I've found the answer:
LEMON EXTREEEMMEE!!!!
And yes, that answer is real. It has no particular meaning because I didn't fact check lemon extreeemmee, but I'm sure that lemon extreeemmee is still a good enough argument.
Pretty much, you should take lemon extreeemmee as an example. He doesn't talk, move, express emotions, or do anything. Why? It's because lemon extreeemmee is really really relaxed. He doesn't have to care about anything, and that's what will make a person awesome.
Becoming awesome needs you to unleash your inner "I don't care" attitude.
If you don't let anything bother you, you'll find that you will:
1. Become really relaxed and happier.
2. People will want to hang out with you because you're happy and they like happiness.
3. # Replaced Item
4. You will be able to enjoy things deeply.
Number three was that you can show how awesome you are to the people around you, but it would have been unfair to leave that there. Some people are naturally not as awesome as others. (Awesome people just know how to strut their stuff better)
Sometimes, people will want to be cool by doing something illegal or plain stupid. For example:
Back in my high school days, I heard about people bragging that they smoked, did crack, and....some REALLY inappropriate stuff which needs to be censored, and I thought it wasn't cool. They did for some reason.....
After all, how can a high school teen looking like this be cool?:
In fact, cool today is on a whole new level of cool. When I was in kindergarten, being cool was how many crayons you had. I recently met a five year old kindergarten student with an iPhone 6 PLUS. (And it made my ancient Samsung thing I don't even know the model of look very bad!)
Things change really quickly, but the rules to being cool haven't ever changed. They're fundamental and based on psychological biology! You have to think about how the body's coolness it taken in by the human brain, while using physics and entomology and more. THEN, you'll get it, but I don't want to confuse you now.
Here's a very simple picture for users to understand how to be more like LEMON EXTREEEMMEE!!!!!!!!
It's all about not letting things get to you. If you don't give a crap about all of the nonsense around you, you'll find that you're totally going to be able to look cool to everybody. More importantly, you'll find that you really can just become a happier person in general.
If the coolest kid in your school comes to brag about something and tells you about his latest expensive thing:
Say: "I don't care bro." and walk away
If a reality T.V. show gives you an offer to get paid to act for them:
Say: "I don't care bro." and walk away
If the U.S. President invites you to dinner:
Say: "I don't care bro." and walk away
If you are offered to get 1 billion dollars for free:
TAKE THAT!!!
And then:
Say: "I don't care bro." and walk away (With the money in hand)
Not caring and not letting things affect you are going to make you a cooler person. Being lax and laid-back are all it takes to become a cool person:
It's easy and simple. Or you could choose to spend time actually DOING cool things!
After all, who would like to work their entire lives to do things like this to be cool?:
Saturday, November 21, 2015
Types of days
There are different phases people go through in life.
People have the sad days:
The day when somebody messes with you on purpose days:
Happy days:
Marijuana Days:
And OMG, TIME TO TURN UP!!! days:
Although those aren't ALL of the types of days, you get the idea. People have times where they just feel a certain way. How does it work that you can just be sad for a certain amount of time, happy for a certain amount of time, or feel DOGE for a certain amount of time?
The last time I asked my doctor about how to live life in a more "balanced" manner(never as a medical professional about the word "balance"), it turned to a lot of THIS:
THIS!!
And THIS!
When my doctor started on how I need a balanced diet and balanced life, I thought it was totally fine because I just didn't have enough doge days in my life and that I need to have more happy days, but apparently, it's supposed mean that I need to CUT OUT my doge days, happy days, and turn up time so that I can only be left with sour and boring days....(and they spent 11 years of their life in school to tell me this
)
This is why I am a self-diagnosed doctor. My doctor's theory is "life will totally become sweeter bro, only when you never taste the fun life except for a few times bro, then you'll- like- bro, just do as I say bro"
But then, I came up with a theory as to how you can live a more balanced and happy life:
First off, it can't be magic or sorcery so it must be a worldly thing. Second, it can't be anything related to science:
or else my doctor will go back to hormones, balance, and this:
It can't be money because a lot of rich people are sick and depressed. After sifting through all of the possibilities, I came up with a theory. (Warning: THIS THEORY WAS DEVELOPED WHILE I WAS EXHAUSTED AND DRUNK WITH SLEEP)
Clearly, it's all because of an invisible man in a green tuxedo. He has super powers and can control your day with a single slap. He walks around and based on however he feels, he decides to give you a taste of his invisible emotions.
Pretty much, you just pray that he's not angry when he's stopping by you....and unfortunately, he's almost ALWAYS angry:
It seems that whenever he's coming by me, he JUST lost his invisible job:
And then the REAL answer hit me like another slap in the face from an invisible green man:
Our emotions are controlled by what we do and how we think. Belief is everything. The key to true happiness is to just make yourself happy.
(This defeats the invisible green man theory by a mile, too)
So, how can people make themselves happy, then?
There are a few things that can help you take control of your days and have more OMG, TURN UP TIME!
Step 1.
Eat LOTS of ice cream and chocolates. These are proven to make you a happy person in general.
Step 2.
Play some video games!!!!!
Video games are the supreme form of happiness for all of those that are willing to play virtual soccer and basketball.
Step 3.
Forget stress. When the going gets tough, the tough get going....and they won't come back. To remain tough, you need to take a break from all of your stress. If you find that your major essay is due tonight and you're getting stressed, it wouldn't hurt to leave 30% of your English grade for some chill time. After all, what's the point of living if you're not living happy?
Imagine that you never have to deal with stress and always run away from it so that you never have to see its ugly face? This would probably (c'mon, we all know it'll COMPLETELY) increase your chance of having only happy days.
If all of these steps are incorporated into the lifestyle of everybody in the world, then EVERYTHING that people have to do would be fun. Even workplace environments would be less stressful. Imagine working at a place where your boss hits the whip on a table:
There's only one problem:
Stress and sadness will try to get back at you. Apparently, you can't have happy days FOREVER, and stress will always find a way to come and nip you right in the booty.
So, here are some quick tips on how to handle stress on a smaller scale, so that stress can't grow.
Tip #1.
Find an outlet. Whether you open up a journal and write, or scream into a pillow, or maybe even do push-ups or something, you should always have a stress outlet. (Gaming can also stress you btw. An outlet would be desirable)
Tip #2.
DO NOT be afraid of leaving a situation. If you find that you can't handle the heat, take a moment to chill out.
Tip #3.
Change your environments,frequently. People often find that they immerse themselves too much in a specific type of lifestyle, and that could lead to issues. Sometimes, it's too much time among friends and other people. Sometimes, it's too much time alone. Sometimes, it's too much time spending your days and free time working on those small mistakes you made on a simple math test and you get OCD about it.....
In any case, find some border between all of the different environments and this will give you some breathing room to come back to whatever you were dealing with before with a new outlook.
Tip #4.
(My personal favorite)
Drag around an ENORMOUS cooler box that's CHOCK loaded with ice cream and chocolates!!!!
If you follow these simple rules to the letter, you'll find that you'll be in control of all of the days you have and you'll be able to stay happy longer. You'll also get to eat a lot of ice cream.
People have the sad days:
The day when somebody messes with you on purpose days:
Happy days:
Marijuana Days:
And OMG, TIME TO TURN UP!!! days:
Although those aren't ALL of the types of days, you get the idea. People have times where they just feel a certain way. How does it work that you can just be sad for a certain amount of time, happy for a certain amount of time, or feel DOGE for a certain amount of time?
The last time I asked my doctor about how to live life in a more "balanced" manner(never as a medical professional about the word "balance"), it turned to a lot of THIS:
THIS!!
And THIS!
When my doctor started on how I need a balanced diet and balanced life, I thought it was totally fine because I just didn't have enough doge days in my life and that I need to have more happy days, but apparently, it's supposed mean that I need to CUT OUT my doge days, happy days, and turn up time so that I can only be left with sour and boring days....(and they spent 11 years of their life in school to tell me this
)This is why I am a self-diagnosed doctor. My doctor's theory is "life will totally become sweeter bro, only when you never taste the fun life except for a few times bro, then you'll- like- bro, just do as I say bro"
But then, I came up with a theory as to how you can live a more balanced and happy life:
First off, it can't be magic or sorcery so it must be a worldly thing. Second, it can't be anything related to science:
or else my doctor will go back to hormones, balance, and this:
It can't be money because a lot of rich people are sick and depressed. After sifting through all of the possibilities, I came up with a theory. (Warning: THIS THEORY WAS DEVELOPED WHILE I WAS EXHAUSTED AND DRUNK WITH SLEEP)
Clearly, it's all because of an invisible man in a green tuxedo. He has super powers and can control your day with a single slap. He walks around and based on however he feels, he decides to give you a taste of his invisible emotions.
Pretty much, you just pray that he's not angry when he's stopping by you....and unfortunately, he's almost ALWAYS angry:
It seems that whenever he's coming by me, he JUST lost his invisible job:
And then the REAL answer hit me like another slap in the face from an invisible green man:
Our emotions are controlled by what we do and how we think. Belief is everything. The key to true happiness is to just make yourself happy.
(This defeats the invisible green man theory by a mile, too)
So, how can people make themselves happy, then?
There are a few things that can help you take control of your days and have more OMG, TURN UP TIME!
Step 1.
Eat LOTS of ice cream and chocolates. These are proven to make you a happy person in general.
Step 2.
Play some video games!!!!!
Video games are the supreme form of happiness for all of those that are willing to play virtual soccer and basketball.
Step 3.
Forget stress. When the going gets tough, the tough get going....and they won't come back. To remain tough, you need to take a break from all of your stress. If you find that your major essay is due tonight and you're getting stressed, it wouldn't hurt to leave 30% of your English grade for some chill time. After all, what's the point of living if you're not living happy?
Imagine that you never have to deal with stress and always run away from it so that you never have to see its ugly face? This would probably (c'mon, we all know it'll COMPLETELY) increase your chance of having only happy days.
If all of these steps are incorporated into the lifestyle of everybody in the world, then EVERYTHING that people have to do would be fun. Even workplace environments would be less stressful. Imagine working at a place where your boss hits the whip on a table:
There's only one problem:
Stress and sadness will try to get back at you. Apparently, you can't have happy days FOREVER, and stress will always find a way to come and nip you right in the booty.
So, here are some quick tips on how to handle stress on a smaller scale, so that stress can't grow.
Tip #1.
Find an outlet. Whether you open up a journal and write, or scream into a pillow, or maybe even do push-ups or something, you should always have a stress outlet. (Gaming can also stress you btw. An outlet would be desirable)
Tip #2.
DO NOT be afraid of leaving a situation. If you find that you can't handle the heat, take a moment to chill out.
Tip #3.
Change your environments,frequently. People often find that they immerse themselves too much in a specific type of lifestyle, and that could lead to issues. Sometimes, it's too much time among friends and other people. Sometimes, it's too much time alone. Sometimes, it's too much time spending your days and free time working on those small mistakes you made on a simple math test and you get OCD about it.....
In any case, find some border between all of the different environments and this will give you some breathing room to come back to whatever you were dealing with before with a new outlook.
Tip #4.
(My personal favorite)
Drag around an ENORMOUS cooler box that's CHOCK loaded with ice cream and chocolates!!!!
If you follow these simple rules to the letter, you'll find that you'll be in control of all of the days you have and you'll be able to stay happy longer. You'll also get to eat a lot of ice cream.
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