Boredom

Boredom should be classified as a medical issue. It is a malady, one of the worst kinds. Boredom has literally affected nearly every human alive! The reason I cannot say all is because I haven't recorded every human's record with boredom, but I highly doubt that somebody alive hasn't experienced boredom. The extremity of boredom isn't quite fully understood, yet. This is primarily because there will never be a cure...



Boredom at extreme levels can even be the cause of some suicides, but this is the end of the spectrum.



Evidence: Not much in relation to provide a solid argument, HOWEVER, if people led interesting lives, they wouldn't kill themselves. Therefore, I will adopt my thesis for the time being. (Even if it's false)

So, as a possible, future medical STUDENT, I propose a solution to end the suicide trend....because suicide is really stupid.

The solution is to KILL boredom! I already have a list of eccentric, eclectic Boredom Busters capable of being executed almost ANYWHERE. (Place some mental emphasis in the almost part, too)


1. Take a nap



2. Play video games




3. Eat food




After practicing these, I recognized a problem: Boredom cannot be killed because it is a demonic spell of some sort. Apparently, Gandalf the Gray is upset! (And it could be that his outfit was washed with his daughter's Hello Kitty dress):




So, how do you defeat boredom if Gandalf and Doubledoor are casting a spell on you? There's only one thing that can stop spells:

MAGIC!!



You could learn magic tricks yourself, but that would take too long.





The easy way out is to learn how magic works. Simply put: All it takes is to have an ugly old lady throwing random nasty stuff into some ancient stone pot over a fire.





Simply put, again, you need to get rid of ONE of those things, and you have succeeded.

Without a witch, you can't have a spell. Without the nasty random ingredients she finds lying dead around the house, she can't throw things into the pot. (Seriously, they're random dead things) Without her spell-book, she can't cast spells.



Finally, you can't make a spell without a pot. So, you can decide which one to take away. (It's easier if you go for something lighter than the pot)

It always helps to go into wizard academy. The best one is Wartzhog.
You'll need to find this lady to gain admission:




Once you become a student, you'll learn how to steal something from a witch! I dropped out of Wartzhog half a week into my freshman year. I felt like it was too much work and drama.


Training:


When you screw up:



Rival school v.s. Your school:



YOUR rival:



Your roommate:



your roommate's cat:



And the school faculty when they team up to sink your GPA:






In the end, I learned that the best way to stop any spell-caster from cursing you with boredom is to master parkour because the hardest part isn't stealing the spellbook... it's escaping alive. Most thieves are turned into stone when they're caught, so, naturally, you'll need to be able to do this:










After you've learned how magic works, how to steal from a witch (or Gandalf the Pink), and how to escape with your life, you'll need to know that all spell-casters have guardians. A common favorite is the multi-headed snake thingie with legs...





Another common favorite is the star of doom:





but the worst of them all, is the ultimate chimpanzee of doom with his stick of doom:







 Good magic and parkour (good luck there)


You'll need it to come back alive.