Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Rules

There are rules to life that aren't mentioned or explained in a textbook. I would greatly appreciate a Life for Dummies book, right about now.



There are many relatively heart-touching matters that I generally don't like to deal with often and I get uncomfortable when encountered with them.
I find that there is a large list of things that I try to make into lighthearted situations....and they all are relatively serious:

1. Rumors
2. Disabilities
3  Bullying
4. Abuse
5. Dinner time....


Among these objects of absolute extreme intensity comes the one that really doesn't belong there.....rumors, but people like to hear me talk more about why dinner time is there and that's where I'll explain a bit further.

I find that there's nothing more important than eating food. I always used to be a tough cookie when it came to eating dinner. I was that one child that DIDN'T eat. I'd rather dump the plate on my head!!

And then it all changed when my mom told me she'd give me ice cream for dessert when I was 6. Now dessert was relatively new to me and I couldn't fathom the fact that it was possible to be able to eat something actually GOOD for my taste buds.




Now, ever since then, dinner has been the most important meal of the day for me. In fact, if it so happens that a certain impending issue was going to occur, and I was a crucial key to its solution, I'd skip it just because it is dinner time.

There are reasons that dinner is more complex and intricate than other crises. It's because there are rules for dinner.....MANY rules.

Rule #1.

You do NOT piss your mom off before you eat dinner. (You'll find it spicier than normal)

Rule #2.

You don't cook your own food if mom is there, or else you're missing out on some good, good stuff that could be made.

Rule #3.

Rule #2 comes with the backlash of eating HEALTHY, tasteless, terrible foods.
You can tell if you're about to eat these foods because you'll see that they are all GREEN:



Rule #4.

Dinner just has to be more serious than any other thing on the planet, or else you're breaking Rule #4.

Rule #5.

You do NOT break Rule #4, just because bro. You'd better show respect for rules and just....follow them for no reason!!




Even with dinner being the most serious of meals, I find I can still screw it up. Since people consider dinner time as "less important" than quite a lot of things on this planet, which I assure you to be false, people tend to have terrible dinner experiences with family.

Apparently, dinner has social values among the family. I often found my mom greatly upset whenever we don't have a "family dinner."  This is that one dream every mother has where you just SIT there, MUTE as a TV when you hit the mute button. You don't say anything and just eat. You sit with your back straight, can't slouch. You MUST, I repeat, MUST chew with your mouth closed and CAN'T put your elbows on the table.

I had many problems with this dinner type. Just like a TV sounds way better with sound, a family dinner is not supposed to be the quiet game. Second, why eat dinner with a straight back? God gave me flexibility to USE it, not abuse it. If I can bend something, I deserve to bend it!!

And worse of all.....you can't make a single mistake....

No spilling milk, not a single grain of rice can touch the table, and may the Lord have mercy on your soul if you're caught chewing with your mouth open. (At least in my house)





And this is why Dinner Time is probably more serious than all of the other things on that list above.

There are rules for things around the list of the 5 important and serious things mentioned above the list of five above, but they're simple enough to not even acknowledge sometimes.




The only other rules about life that I paid enough attention to remember vaguely were these:

Rule about life #1:

If somebody tells you a rumor, you don't believe in it because your mommy taught you better than to follow rumors.



Rule about life #2:

If somebody is bullied, you're supposed to cry. Something in our body about biology and zoology and empathy combined makes us cry and if you don't cry when somebody tells you that they're being bullied, apparently, you've had a heart failure and are officially heartless. Get it checked. I got a nice cardiologist with some decent prices in case you need one, too.



Rule about life #3:

If somebody finds out that you started a rumor about them, tell them that it was just a rumor.....it keeps them guessing.

Rule about life #4:

If somebody come out with a problem to tell you, NEVER say "it could have been worse" to try and make it seem like it's nothing. It makes the situation worse and just keeps them imagining MORE about the more problems they could have, forcing them to follow rule #2 harder making them cry more.

Rule about life #5

Dinner Time is always the most serious matter on this planet. If you are a human being, you've got to take dinner more serious that your beauty sleep.....and you really need that beauty sleep....




These rules are simple enough, but I find that I can't follow them. I always forget the right rule at the right time.
Sometimes, I even mix up the rules and you'll see me crying at dinner time because I thought that Rule about life #2 was appropriate.





Either way, that's the reason why I can't be near anybody when it comes to the list of five mentioned above the list of five above the list of five. I'll just mess things up. I wonder who even came up with these rules in the first place. Rules just make things complex. Kind of like traffic laws and stuff like that.

People are expected to read and understand those rules but sorry if I'm not interested in scrolling through rules until I'm 81 because I'm NOT into spending my time knowing things I DON'T care about.

Following rules can be a challenge. Some people are just born to be goody two shoes, while others have to EARN it. Some people may have disabilities preventing them from following rules appropriately. We just label them criminals for convenience.

In some cases, rules are THROWN at you and you may even have to dodge them like some action escape film....



A great example are the rules for Dinner Time...