Anecdotes and parables to provoke: June 2015

Soccer. The sport loved by a large number of humans. It is considered to be the only sport to connect the world. (There are exceptions, such as international debate, where the biggest countries decide to sit and yell at each other about what to collaborate on). Even babies play soccer:

Soccer has so many parts to it. There is flopping (pretending to be hurt a.k.a. being a big baby), cheating, raging, trolling, dribbling, shooting, slide tackling like a boss, and scoring. Soccer is portrayed to be about the latter four, but is mainly all about the first four: flopping, cheating, raging, and trolling.

I am writing this at the time of the FIFA Women's World Cup, 2015. I keep up with many soccer games, and after watching a couple of games of the women's world cup, I realized that the women of this world cup, so far, don't play as dirty as the men of their latest world cup.

What I intend to explain is that the women do not play childish games and attempt to trick the referee at all. The women in their world cup seem to play soccer seriously without going out of their way to find a situation where they can flop:

Another observation on the women's world cup is that they don't go out of their way to foul people. A lot of male soccer players tend to foul when they cannot reach the ball:

Some male foul experts have even perfected the art of the dragon kick, and practice it very effectively, targeting vital areas for soccer players:

Women in their soccer seem to just play fair and play perfectly where males would have to cheat to win. In this situation, I could guarantee that there would have been a karate kick thrown to stop this cross, if they were men:

(Consider the sheer number of red [China] players present to commit a violent foul)

In this example, there could have been a push or pull:

The few, when compared to the fouls committed in men's soccer, fouls committed by women in soccer are to be taken seriously. They are true fouls.

Women seem to just dominate in what they do. If they play soccer, they will play like bosses and just don't need to play dirty. If they play dirty, they do it like dirty bosses and no male can match that level of dirty play. NOT EVEN PEPE CAN DO IT!!!

PEPE's FOULING POWER!!!

DAVID LUIZ FOULING POWER!!!

RANDOM DUDE I DON'T EVEN KNOW FOULING POWER!!!

VERSUS

ELIZABETH LAMBERT!!!

GUTS TO DO IT LIKE A BOSS IN THE WORLD CUP (GERMANY VS JAPAN)!!!!!

There is more to soccer than fouling and the dichotomy of male and female soccer. There is something called raging. If you are a soccer player, you will rage. You have to. It is the soccer law. (Soccer laws and laws made on the basis that many soccer players or people affiliated with soccer act or think in a certain way)

These soccer laws are implemented at home:

Raging is a very dear part of soccer. Another dear part of soccer is a form of trolling called dribbling. (Trolling takes many forms in soccer)

Another form of trolling in soccer is called hopping over.

And the final trolling in soccer, the ULTIMATE trolling, is messing with your team on purpose. Primarily, it is called "screwing up," but I wouldn't fall for it. In the coming examples, you'll witness the optimum chances for players to score, but throw it away, pretending that they MEANT to score. (It is most effective when a penalty is placed, because it is the easiest way for one to score in a game.)

Even goalkeepers like to mess with their team:

RANDOM VIDEO GAME GOALIE CHEATER!!!!

I have named the most interesting and essential parts of soccer. Now, I must display the the smaller and less necessary pieces of soccer in a concise and brief manner. I mentioned before the eight pieces of soccer: flopping, cheating, raging, trolling, dribbling, shooting, slide tackling, and scoring. The last four are superfluous, but still there.

DRIBBLING