Rules

There are rules to life that aren't mentioned or explained in a textbook. I would greatly appreciate a Life for Dummies book, right about now.



There are many relatively heart-touching matters that I generally don't like to deal with often and I get uncomfortable when encountered with them.
I find that there is a large list of things that I try to make into lighthearted situations....and they all are relatively serious:

1. Rumors
2. Disabilities
3  Bullying
4. Abuse
5. Dinner time....


Among these objects of absolute extreme intensity comes the one that really doesn't belong there.....rumors, but people like to hear me talk more about why dinner time is there and that's where I'll explain a bit further.

I find that there's nothing more important than eating food. I always used to be a tough cookie when it came to eating dinner. I was that one child that DIDN'T eat. I'd rather dump the plate on my head!!

And then it all changed when my mom told me she'd give me ice cream for dessert when I was 6. Now dessert was relatively new to me and I couldn't fathom the fact that it was possible to be able to eat something actually GOOD for my taste buds.




Now, ever since then, dinner has been the most important meal of the day for me. In fact, if it so happens that a certain impending issue was going to occur, and I was a crucial key to its solution, I'd skip it just because it is dinner time.

There are reasons that dinner is more complex and intricate than other crises. It's because there are rules for dinner.....MANY rules.

Rule #1.

You do NOT piss your mom off before you eat dinner. (You'll find it spicier than normal)

Rule #2.

You don't cook your own food if mom is there, or else you're missing out on some good, good stuff that could be made.

Rule #3.

Rule #2 comes with the backlash of eating HEALTHY, tasteless, terrible foods.
You can tell if you're about to eat these foods because you'll see that they are all GREEN:



Rule #4.

Dinner just has to be more serious than any other thing on the planet, or else you're breaking Rule #4.

Rule #5.

You do NOT break Rule #4, just because bro. You'd better show respect for rules and just....follow them for no reason!!




Even with dinner being the most serious of meals, I find I can still screw it up. Since people consider dinner time as "less important" than quite a lot of things on this planet, which I assure you to be false, people tend to have terrible dinner experiences with family.

Apparently, dinner has social values among the family. I often found my mom greatly upset whenever we don't have a "family dinner."  This is that one dream every mother has where you just SIT there, MUTE as a TV when you hit the mute button. You don't say anything and just eat. You sit with your back straight, can't slouch. You MUST, I repeat, MUST chew with your mouth closed and CAN'T put your elbows on the table.

I had many problems with this dinner type. Just like a TV sounds way better with sound, a family dinner is not supposed to be the quiet game. Second, why eat dinner with a straight back? God gave me flexibility to USE it, not abuse it. If I can bend something, I deserve to bend it!!

And worse of all.....you can't make a single mistake....

No spilling milk, not a single grain of rice can touch the table, and may the Lord have mercy on your soul if you're caught chewing with your mouth open. (At least in my house)





And this is why Dinner Time is probably more serious than all of the other things on that list above.

There are rules for things around the list of the 5 important and serious things mentioned above the list of five above, but they're simple enough to not even acknowledge sometimes.




The only other rules about life that I paid enough attention to remember vaguely were these:

Rule about life #1:

If somebody tells you a rumor, you don't believe in it because your mommy taught you better than to follow rumors.



Rule about life #2:

If somebody is bullied, you're supposed to cry. Something in our body about biology and zoology and empathy combined makes us cry and if you don't cry when somebody tells you that they're being bullied, apparently, you've had a heart failure and are officially heartless. Get it checked. I got a nice cardiologist with some decent prices in case you need one, too.



Rule about life #3:

If somebody finds out that you started a rumor about them, tell them that it was just a rumor.....it keeps them guessing.

Rule about life #4:

If somebody come out with a problem to tell you, NEVER say "it could have been worse" to try and make it seem like it's nothing. It makes the situation worse and just keeps them imagining MORE about the more problems they could have, forcing them to follow rule #2 harder making them cry more.

Rule about life #5

Dinner Time is always the most serious matter on this planet. If you are a human being, you've got to take dinner more serious that your beauty sleep.....and you really need that beauty sleep....




These rules are simple enough, but I find that I can't follow them. I always forget the right rule at the right time.
Sometimes, I even mix up the rules and you'll see me crying at dinner time because I thought that Rule about life #2 was appropriate.





Either way, that's the reason why I can't be near anybody when it comes to the list of five mentioned above the list of five above the list of five. I'll just mess things up. I wonder who even came up with these rules in the first place. Rules just make things complex. Kind of like traffic laws and stuff like that.

People are expected to read and understand those rules but sorry if I'm not interested in scrolling through rules until I'm 81 because I'm NOT into spending my time knowing things I DON'T care about.

Following rules can be a challenge. Some people are just born to be goody two shoes, while others have to EARN it. Some people may have disabilities preventing them from following rules appropriately. We just label them criminals for convenience.

In some cases, rules are THROWN at you and you may even have to dodge them like some action escape film....



A great example are the rules for Dinner Time...

Shortest Blog Post Ever

Life

Life. Everybody knows that life can be really hard on you...






Life can give you ups and downs, but it primarily chooses to give you downs. Studies have been constructed to provide evidence that life is a troll.





Apparently, life can get messy. How do you handle those days when you're sad and people are just messing with you on PURPOSE? Those days when you just try to do your own thing but everybody is coming to YOU with something to ruin your day?






OR

What about days when you try to do something, but everything goes wrong?




First off, understand that it's possible that you don't get ticked off and become a depressed bum who chills out in his mom's basement for the rest of his life, reliving that ONE day when that ONE guy ticked him off.


(Don't feel bad if you're already there because there's no place like home where you get all of the cookies and brownies)

Second, understand that you can turn those messy days all the way around.


Way #1. 


Watch really cute animals that will make you explode with cuteness!






Like these:








Way #2:

Give yourself a little sugar



Way #3:

Watch some people falling down and getting hurt. (Not for the faint of heart)




'





After trying all of these ways, you're sure to be all set. If not, there's always something called achievement. The concept of achievement is really difficult to grasp in a short while. It basically goes something like this:



Achievement:
/əˈCHēvmo͞os/

Root: How am I supposed to know?

Definition:

Pretty much, it's kinda like when you spend a whole lot of your time doing boring, repetitive, dumb things for a loooong while, bro. And then, you kinda like....lemme see how to word this... You just wanna look and show off the thing that you spent so much time on to show how much time you kinda wasted on what it was that you achieved I think. And then you force your mind into being happy by seeing the thing you "achieved"


Achievement can look pretty cool if it's for cool things





However, most of the time achievement is done in something boring like math, work, chemistry, math, work, or chemistry.



It's some common theory that achieving something big will help you feel happy. I shouldn't really even mention this whole "achievement" thing, but I have to because it's part of the "steps to feelings happy" thing I googled up. I'm sure it's credible, too. On top of that, life trolls always screw up big achievements, which makes achievement a dangerous factor to try, anyways.

It would be nice to be able to kill the life troll, too.

Although the best method would be laser beams, that can't happen.






So, what's a life troll's greatest weakness and what do life trolls want?
Life trolls just wanna mess you up. They carry the world's worst weapon of mass destruction, too.....lemons. Lemons are known to man to be what causes sour happenings.
  LEMON EXXTREEEMMME!!!

Lemon exxtreemme is a great weapon. It basically destroys your entire mood with its sourness. Life trolls value this greatly because humans have a taste for sugar.

So, with this comes the greatest weakness of life trolls. LEMONADE!!!!

It's statistically proven that life trolls will leave you alone if you find a way to make their lemons into some nice LEMONADA! You can always trust statistics, too!




Anyways, trolls just can't stand seeing somebody turning a sour situation into a good one. They get so upset if their troll fails that they spend the next year just doing nothing but avoiding you just in case they may fail again.




So, ultimately, the key to having a troll free life is to make lemonade.

The Next Level

What does it take to become an all star pro in life?

How do you impress people and become the most amazing person people know?

Practice makes perfect. You can just keep trying and practicing until your level of skills reach here:







Right now, you're probably like:
  DANG SON


But believe it or not, somersaults are possible if you believe!!



Now, all of those amazing skills are for those willing to practice and try hard. I'm too lazy for that:


YET, I still have proven to be awesome......

I took a lie detector test about that, too:



I easily detected that the machine is lying so hard.


Anyways, what does it take to become an awesome person? How can you become the coolest kid on the block?? (Without owning the most crayons)

I've found the answer:
                          LEMON EXTREEEMMEE!!!!                                                    



And yes, that answer is real. It has no particular meaning because I didn't fact check lemon extreeemmee, but I'm sure that lemon extreeemmee is still a good enough argument.

Pretty much, you should take lemon extreeemmee as an example. He doesn't talk, move, express emotions, or do anything. Why? It's because lemon extreeemmee is really really relaxed. He doesn't have to care about anything, and that's what will make a person awesome.

Becoming awesome needs you to unleash your inner "I don't care" attitude.



If you don't let anything bother you, you'll find that you will:

1. Become really relaxed and happier.
2. People will want to hang out with you because you're happy and they like happiness.
3. # Replaced Item
4. You will be able to enjoy things deeply.


Number three was that you can show how awesome you are to the people around you, but it would have been unfair to leave that there. Some people are naturally not as awesome as others. (Awesome people just know how to strut their stuff better)

Sometimes, people will want to be cool by doing something illegal or plain stupid. For example:

Back in my high school days, I heard about people bragging that they smoked, did crack, and....some REALLY inappropriate stuff which needs to be censored, and I thought it wasn't cool. They did for some reason.....

After all, how can a high school teen looking like this be cool?:





In fact, cool today is on a whole new level of cool. When I was in kindergarten, being cool was how many crayons you had. I recently met a five year old kindergarten student with an iPhone 6 PLUS. (And it made my ancient Samsung thing I don't even know the model of look very bad!)

Things change really quickly, but the rules to being cool haven't ever changed. They're fundamental and based on psychological biology! You have to think about how the body's coolness it taken in by the human brain, while using physics and entomology and more. THEN, you'll get it, but I don't want to confuse you now.


Here's a very simple picture for users to understand how to be more like LEMON EXTREEEMMEE!!!!!!!!





It's all about not letting things get to you. If you don't give a crap about all of the nonsense around you, you'll find that you're totally going to be able to look cool to everybody. More importantly, you'll find that you really can just become a happier person in general.


If the coolest kid in your school comes to brag about something and tells you about his latest expensive thing:

Say: "I don't care bro." and walk away

If a reality T.V. show gives you an offer to get paid to act for them:

Say: "I don't care bro." and walk away

If the U.S. President invites you to dinner:

Say: "I don't care bro." and walk away

If you are offered to get 1 billion dollars for free:

TAKE THAT!!!

And then:

Say: "I don't care bro." and walk away  (With the money in hand)





Not caring and not letting things affect you are going to make you a cooler person. Being lax and laid-back are all it takes to become a cool person:






It's easy and simple. Or you could choose to spend time actually DOING cool things!

After all, who would like to work their entire lives to do things like this to be cool?: